I loved reading this post Kathryn! And the photo captures the elegance of your movements even now: I really can't picture you as the stocky rural woman you describe. You capture the child-like innocence so well, and I can just imagine - feel - the shame that you were too young to feel, but felt nonetheless. I can't recall any specific incidents like this, but I'm sure there must have been some, because your writing resonates at a very deep place - and, just like you, I always make sure I visit the toilet before I go out and know in advance where the nearest toilet is (I even have a phone app called 'Where is Public Toilet'!). Thank you for writing and sharing, and look forward to the next instalment.
oh how i enjoyed this, KK! so many details in which i laughed and nodded and felt what i experience as that sense of shock and shame.... and you reminded me of my ballet days a touch older, in elementary school, with a teacher who taught throughout her pregnancy, I think she might have had her water break during class? I most remember my friend Jenna and I chatting at the barre and her displeasure at our obliviousness to the class!
Oh, Sasha, thanks so much for stopping by and taking time to chat. Thanks for sharing that memory of your own ballet days - so much exquisite drama in that moment of your pregnant instructor's water breaking! 💙
Haha, you gave me a few giggles here, KK! "...like big fat Australian bush flies while Tchaikovsky’s “Waltz of the Flowers” was playing on repeat." 😂 Now picture that! 😂 But I hear you. I had a similar situation in the bathtub that I often shared with my older brother when I was a wee one. Let's just say, I ended up with more than just frog fingers, frozen and with blue lips shivering away, while my father tried everything to get me out of the water, which I vehemently refused. We had guests, and suddenly everyone was inside the bathroom convincing me it was time to get out. The shame!😎 Thank you for this wonderful piece! ❤️
Hey, DD - so happy we could laugh together! Now your bathroom experience - wow what a scene!!! And it's funny that you say 'shame' because I never thought that we could experience shame so young and yet we do! I have one more experience I will share that I think, more than this one, was my first real experience of shame. Again, it's with this ballet teacher! 💙
oooo, I can empathise KK. I had the same thing when I was older and therefore the shame greater, when playing Sardines at a birthday party. I was in a cupboard with several other party goers and got too excited. I was always too embarrassed to ask where the toilet was in a strange house and left it disastrously late. My fellow sardines had wet feet and sent me to Coventry for the rest of the party. You've resurrected those cringy memories - thanks! :):)
Oh Sue!!! Cringy memories indeed! Oooohhh what an experience for you! I am with you in being too embarrassed to ask about toilet in stranger’s homes!!! I am so sorry you had to read my Substack this morning! 🙈🙈🙈
I enjoyed reading it, KK, but I know how you feel. when I’m in a new house, bar, whatever, I have to get Mike to check it out, tell me exactly where it id so that I know exactly how get to it, and what condition it’s in. Daft at my age, well he thinks so!!
Sue! Yes! I was going to add some thoughts on how this may have impacted adult me. For example, I cannot leave home without going to the toilet about 10 times and I don’t drink anything if I’m boarding a flight.
I loved reading this post Kathryn! And the photo captures the elegance of your movements even now: I really can't picture you as the stocky rural woman you describe. You capture the child-like innocence so well, and I can just imagine - feel - the shame that you were too young to feel, but felt nonetheless. I can't recall any specific incidents like this, but I'm sure there must have been some, because your writing resonates at a very deep place - and, just like you, I always make sure I visit the toilet before I go out and know in advance where the nearest toilet is (I even have a phone app called 'Where is Public Toilet'!). Thank you for writing and sharing, and look forward to the next instalment.
oh how i enjoyed this, KK! so many details in which i laughed and nodded and felt what i experience as that sense of shock and shame.... and you reminded me of my ballet days a touch older, in elementary school, with a teacher who taught throughout her pregnancy, I think she might have had her water break during class? I most remember my friend Jenna and I chatting at the barre and her displeasure at our obliviousness to the class!
Oh, Sasha, thanks so much for stopping by and taking time to chat. Thanks for sharing that memory of your own ballet days - so much exquisite drama in that moment of your pregnant instructor's water breaking! 💙
This line is hilarious: "built to hike over miles of mountainous terrain with milk pails and goats or something like that"
Also, that little kid in the photo is so obviously you.
Haha - glad we could laugh together, Scott! 💙
Haha, you gave me a few giggles here, KK! "...like big fat Australian bush flies while Tchaikovsky’s “Waltz of the Flowers” was playing on repeat." 😂 Now picture that! 😂 But I hear you. I had a similar situation in the bathtub that I often shared with my older brother when I was a wee one. Let's just say, I ended up with more than just frog fingers, frozen and with blue lips shivering away, while my father tried everything to get me out of the water, which I vehemently refused. We had guests, and suddenly everyone was inside the bathroom convincing me it was time to get out. The shame!😎 Thank you for this wonderful piece! ❤️
Hey, DD - so happy we could laugh together! Now your bathroom experience - wow what a scene!!! And it's funny that you say 'shame' because I never thought that we could experience shame so young and yet we do! I have one more experience I will share that I think, more than this one, was my first real experience of shame. Again, it's with this ballet teacher! 💙
oooo, I can empathise KK. I had the same thing when I was older and therefore the shame greater, when playing Sardines at a birthday party. I was in a cupboard with several other party goers and got too excited. I was always too embarrassed to ask where the toilet was in a strange house and left it disastrously late. My fellow sardines had wet feet and sent me to Coventry for the rest of the party. You've resurrected those cringy memories - thanks! :):)
Oh Sue!!! Cringy memories indeed! Oooohhh what an experience for you! I am with you in being too embarrassed to ask about toilet in stranger’s homes!!! I am so sorry you had to read my Substack this morning! 🙈🙈🙈
I enjoyed reading it, KK, but I know how you feel. when I’m in a new house, bar, whatever, I have to get Mike to check it out, tell me exactly where it id so that I know exactly how get to it, and what condition it’s in. Daft at my age, well he thinks so!!
Yes. This really makes sense to me! And how sweet of Mike to do this for you! 💙
he's a patient soul!
😍
PS. there should have been a trigger warning on incontinence! (why are there no emojis on Comments?)
Sue! Yes! I was going to add some thoughts on how this may have impacted adult me. For example, I cannot leave home without going to the toilet about 10 times and I don’t drink anything if I’m boarding a flight.